When Stanley Matthews was named a knight of the realm in the 1965 New Year’s Honours List, he made history.

Sir Stanley became the first professional footballer to achieve a knighthood while still playing, and to this day remains the only player ever to have done so.

Matthews was playing for Stoke City at the time, aged 49, and the knighthood came just before the end of his playing career. His final league appearance came on 6th February, 1965, against Fulham.

He’d made his league debut for Stoke in 1932, and he stayed with The Potters until 1947 before transferring to Blackpool, where he spent 14 successful seasons. He then returned to the Potters to see out his playing career. He also won 54 England cap between 1934 and 1957.

Nicknamed ‘The Wizard of the Dribble’, Matthews is regarded as one of the greatest and most influential players ever to have played the game. He was the first winner of the European Footballer of the Year Award and of the Football Writers Association’s Footballer of the Year award too.

He died, aged 85, on 23 February, 2000.

Suggested further reading…

Retro Football: The Incredible Team Sheets For Sir Stanley Matthews’ Farewell Testimonial, 1965

Wrexham heroes Steve Watkins (left) and Mickey Thomas

With FA Cup third round weekend almost upon us, what better time to reminisce about one of the biggest cup upsets of all time?

This particular third round meeting on January 4, 1992, matched the previous season’s First Division champions, Arsenal, with the side that had finished bottom of all the 92 professional clubs, Wrexham.

In fact, if it wasn’t for Aldershot going broke and resigning from the league, Wrexham may not have been there at all.

When the two sides met at Wrexham’s Racecourse Ground, they were separated by 79 league places. And when Alan Smith put Arsenal ahead in the 43rd minute, the outcome began to look very predictable.

But, in the 82nd minute, Wrexham’s 37-year-old captain Mickey Thomas lashed a beauty of a free-kick past Arsenal ‘keeper David Seaman.

Wrexham were fired up and, two minutes later, Steve Watkins grabbed the winner to seal one of the biggest giant-killings in years.

Here’s Thomas’ rollicking free-kick again, which you can see in super slo-mo thanks to this “work of motion art created by a small collective of Wrexham fans”.

Enjoy…

You can follow Martin Cloake on Twitter at @MartinCloake and find more about his books and writing at www.martincloake.com

Christmas of 1962 was celebrated in the midst of freezing conditions across Britain. By FA Cup third round weekend in January 1963, the icy conditions were still so bad that only three of the ties scheduled to take place went ahead.

In fact, it took another 13 weeks before the round was completed, which still a record that stands to this day. Lincoln City’s game against Coventry was called off no less than 15 times. Another 14 ties suffered 10 or more postponements due to the big freeze that enveloped the country.

The ties that did go ahead saw Sunderland win 4-1 at Preston, Tranmere draw 2-2 against Chelsea and Plymouth lose 5-1 to West Brom.

The disruption went beyond the FA Cup too. Bolton Wanderers did not play a single competitive game from 8th December to 16th February.

The myriad postponements also played havoc with the football pools – an extremely popular and lucrative betting pursuit at the time. Indeed, things got so messy that the Pools Panel was introduced to keep the competition going.

Littlewoods football pools coupon from May, 1963 (Photo via Piet Schreuders/Flickr)

The expert panel was put in place to ordain the predicted outcome of games that had been called off, so as not to disrupt the classified results.

They were forced into action for the first time on 26th January 1963, with former players Ted Drake, Tom Finney, Tommy Lawton and George Young, and former referee Arthur Ellis clubbing together to declare seven draws, 23 home wins and eight away wins.

The picture above shows a dutiful Spurs fan helping to clear the pitch at White Hart Lane to enable his team’s third round tie against Burnley to go ahead on 16 January 1963.

Suggested further viewing…

17 Brilliant Archive Photos Of Football In The Snow
Black-And-White Years: 11 Chilly Photos Of Snowy Football Stadiums

Back in 2005, a young football fan by the name of Paul Golah-Ebue was tasked with writing a letter to a famous person for a school project.

Being a devout Manchester United fan, the 11-year-old chose to write his letter to Sir Alex Ferguson.

However, rather than the usual ‘i love you and i think your grate’ schoolboy fare, Paul decided this was his chance to air a few of the grievances he’d been harbouring over Fergie’s flawed 4-3-3 tactical system, his misuse of Wayne Rooney and the weak links in his backroom staff.

Enjoy…

Some fairly salient points that still hold water today, we’re sure you’ll agree.

Rather fantastically, Fergie actually took the time to pen a response to Paul on official club stationary and while he chose to diplomatically gloss over the youngster’s critique, the United manager still took the time to thank him for his continued support…

Images via the Mirror

The Daily Mirror caught up with Paul, now aged 21, and quizzed him on Fergie’s response to his suggestions. Did the veteran Scot take any of the advice on board?

I wish I could claim he did, but not really. Although, in the Champions League Final three years later, we did start with a 4-4-2, and Rooney was upfront… but I think it would be stretching it to claim credit for that!

Claim away, sunshine. We know we would!

The first (2004) and second (2009) coming of Defoe

For a while, Tottenham resembled a revolving player exchange rather than a football club, with players passing through the club faster than a high-fibre breakfast.

Chuck wheeler dealer Harry Redknapp into the mix and a never-ending precession of eyebrow-raising cut price deals is a nigh-on certainty.

Redknapp first signed Defoe for West Ham in 1999 when the prodigious young striker was offered his first professional papers at the age of 16.

However, less than 24 hours after the Hammers were relegated from the Premier League at the end of the 2002/03 season, Defoe submitted a transfer request in order to push through a quick exit.

It was almost instantly rejected, and Defoe apologised for his conduct. But a refusal to sign a new contract coupled with a fairly lousy start to the 2003/04 season convinced West Ham to let their man go in January, and it was Spurs who came calling.

Defoe enjoyed a successful four-year stint at White Hart Lane, scoring 64 goals in 177 appearances, before falling out of favour under Juande Ramos and being flogged to Portsmouth in January 2008, who were managed by – you guessed it – our old friend ‘Arry.

Then, slightly less than 12 months later, Defoe was re-signed by Tottenham for £3million more than they sold him for – Redknapp closing the deal only three months after ditching Pompey to take the Spurs job. Are you keeping up?

Anyway, for all the bewildering comings and goings, Defoe proved a definite success on his second coming at Spurs, staying five seasons and becoming the club’s fifth highest ever goalscorer in the process.

You can follow Martin Cloake on Twitter at @MartinCloake and find more about his books and writing at www.martincloake.com

When arguably the best player ever to grace a football pitch wins an award that itself betters anything that has gone before, you’ll have to excuse us here at Pies for taking our gaze off the domestic game for just a moment to take heed.

When Barcelona virtuoso Lionel Messi lifted the Ballon d’Or for a fourth consecutive season in January of 2013, it all but cemented his status as a legend – that’s if his status as a legend needed further cementing at that point.

The year previous he had scored an incredible 91 goals for Barca and Argentina combined, an outrageous feat that saw him take 41.9% majority of the 2012 Ballon d’Or vote. Messi’s erstwhile sparring partner Cristiano Ronaldo came second with 23.68%. Andres Iniesta was third with 10.91%.

By winning four years on the trot, Leo went one better than European elites Johan Cruyff, Michel Platini and Marco van Basten – all more than a bit useful during their respective salad days.

All in all, it was an incredible night in Zurich, but for one thing.

That suit.

You can follow Martin Cloake on Twitter at @MartinCloake and find more about his books and writing at www.martincloake.com

With the team floundering, morale low and players in revolt, Liverpool decided to sack manager Roy Hodgson on 8th January 2011 and turn once again to club legend Kenny Dalglish.

Dalglish had been one of the finest creative forwards in the game for Liverpool between 1977 and 1990, and served as player manager for the last five years of that spell.

He’d spent one more season as full-time gaffer, but stepped down citing stress in February 1991.

Dalglish had also made sure the club was represented at every one of the funerals of the fans who died at Hillsborough, attending many himself. That had added to his standing with the club’s fans, but also added to the enormous weight he was carrying on his shoulders.

However, it wasn’t long before Dalglish began regretting his decision to quit, craving the Anfield circus again despite taking Blackburn Rovers to the Premier League title in 1995 and taking both the Newcastle and Celtic gigs in the interim.

By 2009, he was back at Liverpool working with the youth academy, then helped the club target and appoint Hodgson (but only after putting himself forward for the vacancy and being rejected) after the sacking of Rafa Benitez at the end of the 2009/2010 season.

That didn’t work out, and the club turned once more to their in-house living legend in 2011.

The following year he took Andy Carroll to a Boyzone concert the Reds to League Cup victory in a dramatic game against Cardiff, but form in the league did not improve and, just months later, King Kenny was dethroned.

The club said: “We need to make a change”. Four years on, that change is still being made.

You can follow Martin Cloake on Twitter at @MartinCloake and find more about his books and writing at www.martincloake.com

Beckham finally arrives in a new Galaxy, July 2007

Having seemingly fallen out of favour at Real Madrid under Fabio Capello, David Beckham raised more than a few eyebrows when he announced he’d signed a deal to move to MLS and see out his days at Los Angeles Galaxy in January of 2007.

Shortly after Beckham announced his intentions to swan off to America, Real president Ramon Calderon was publicly dismissive, intimating that the England midfielder was a busted flush and would be nothing more than an “average cinema actor living in Hollywood”.

Five months later Calderon was singing an altogether different tune, telling the press he’d be “delighted if Beckham stays” following a dramatic return to form. Real attempted to bargain with Galaxy. Galaxy stood firm. Becks made the switch to Los Angeles that summer.

With several top European teams said to be chasing him, Beckham’s lucrative move to MLS was very much seen as a bit of a ‘semi-retirement’ cop out.

Most observers felt that Becks had at least a couple more years at the top level left in the tank, but the five-year Galaxy deal worth $250million (£180million) almost certainly made up for any regrets the man himself had over his career trajectory.

Beckham’s wages constituted 20% of that total, with the rest coming from sponsorship, merchandising and a guaranteed slice of the club’s profits that was written into his contract.

By the time he left the club permanently five years later, Forbes magazine estimated Beckham had earned $255million during his time in MLS.

Not a bad little boost for the pension pot.

You can follow Martin Cloake on Twitter at @MartinCloake and find more about his books and writing at www.martincloake.com

Having won the trophy himself the previous year, Gullit poses alongside 1988 Ballon d’Or winner Marco van Basten. Milan players dominated the podium, finishing first, second (Gullit) and third (Rijkaard)

With the Ballon d’Or ceremony scheduled to get cracking in Zurich at some point this evening, the BBC have concerned themselves with examining the genetic make-up of every single winner from the past 59 years to ascertain the ‘perfect’ Ballon d’Or candidate.

As part of the infographic the Beeb have produced to illustrate their findings, Pies were surprised, nay, stunned to learn of this fascinating little factoid about Ruud Gullit…

Can you bloody well Adam and Eve it? We’ve trawled the archives and it all checks out. Amazing stuff. Turns out Jason Lee never won the Ballon d’Or!

The full graphic is available to peruse here if you wish. To call it exhaustive is doing it a massive disservice.

Nicolas Anelka had already been around the block a few times by the time he made his Chelsea debut as a 58th minute substitute against Tottenham on this very day back in 2008.

The Blues had paid £15million for the forward who had previously declared, after he left Arsenal in a huff in 1999, that he was finished with English football.

Anelka started out with PSG in 1994, and moved to Arsenal in 1997. He stayed for two years, winning the Young Player of the Year award in 1998/99 but also earning the nickname of Le Sulk because of many and multiple dressing room disputes.

After a long and drawn out summer transfer saga during which Anelka complained about pretty much everything, he joined Real Madrid in 1999.

There, he complained of being “treated like a dog” after being fined for missing training, announcing “I am alone against everyone”. The poor lamb. Always being picked on.

He returned to PSG in 2000, but fell out with that club soon after and was sent on loan to Liverpool. Manager Gerard Houllier didn’t take up the option to buy the star, partly because Anelka’s brothers appeared to be hawking him around other clubs. Anelka later went on record as saying that Houllier “couldn’t be trusted”.

Instead, he joined Manchester City in 2002 where he stayed in relatively uncontroversial circumstances until 2005 before joining Fenerbahçe.
In 2006, he was back in England again with Bolton Wanderers. In 2007 he said he would be willing to rejoin Arsenal, then pledged his future to Bolton, before signing for Chelsea in 2008. Are you keeping up?

In 2011, he put in a transfer request after being “left to rot” by Andre Villas-Boas, and after knocking back a few “unsuitable” offers from European clubs, signed for Shanghai Shenhua. The veteran striker was then almost immediately made player-manager of the Chinese Super League club, if only on a temporary basis.

By 2012, word was that Anelka was keen on a move back to England, the country he was so vehemently finished with in 1999.

After a five-month loan deal with Juventus, Anelka fetched up at West Brom, his sixth premier League club. A controversial year that incorporated in a false retirement, the death of his agent and accusations of anti-semitism ended with the player announcing on social media that he was terminating his contract.

The Baggies said they had had no official notification of his intentions, and sacked him for gross misconduct.

In September 2014, Anelka joined Mumbai City of the Indian Premier League, where he is now player-manager.

Phew. What a career.

You can follow Martin Cloake on Twitter at @MartinCloake and find more about his books and writing at www.martincloake.com

The Divinest Ponytail

It was a recurring shoulder injury that finally persuaded David Seaman to call it a day in football at the grand old age of 40 – his announcement bringing to an end an illustrious career that had spanned 23 years, six clubs and 75 England caps.

Born in Rotherham, Seaman started his career at Leeds United in 1981, the club he supported as a boy. Then-manager Eddie Gray didn’t rate him, so he joined Peterborough United and subsequently started to make his name.

In 1984, he was signed by Birmingham City, but following that club’s relegation from the First Division in 1986, he signed for QPR and in 1988 gained his first England cap at the age of 25 – making his international bow in a 1-1 draw against Saudi Arabia.

By 1990, league champions Arsenal had Seaman in their sights. George Graham paid £1.3million for him, then a record fee for a British goalkeeper.

Seaman’s 13-year stint at Arsenal coincided with the most successful period in the club’s history. He won eight major trophies, making 405 appearances.

During his final season in North London (2002/03), he made his 1,000th professional appearance. He ended his Arsenal career having played in goal for the club more times than any other ‘keeper and sitting second on the Gunners’ all-time Premier League appearances list, behind Ray Parlour.

With England, he played at two World Cups and two European championships, consolidating his position as one of the world’s top goalkeepers and his reputation as an accomplished saver of penalties. He was also awarded an MBE in 1997 for his services to British sport.

Released by Arsenal in the summer of 2003, Seaman initially signed a one-year deal with Kevin Keegan’s Manchester City and went onto make 19 appearances before retiring the following January.

You can follow Martin Cloake on Twitter at @MartinCloake and find more about his books and writing at www.martincloake.com

When Wimbledon paid £7.5million for John Hartson in 1999, the Welsh target man took the mantle of the South London club’s record signing.

The hefty fee also instantly made him a target for his new teammates, who wasted little time in introducing Hartson to the wild ways of the Crazy Gang.

Indeed, when Hartson turned up for his first day at the club, he did so wearing a posh Armani suit. Big mistake.

The striker changed into his training gear and ventured out into the rain for his first session with the Dons.

Over the course of the morning, Hartson received the standard Wimbledon welcome…

After being pummelled and dunked for an hour or two, Hartson walked back to the dressing room only to notice a distinct smell of smoke wafting out of the windows.

Then, as he got closer, he realised it wasn’t the dressing room that was on fire – it was his clothes!

“The suit cost me a couple of grand,” Hartson later admitted.

Having reduced the Armani suit to ash, Vinnie Jones and the rest of the Crazy Gang also torched Hartson’s club-issued tracksuit and let down his car tyres for good measure.

Photo via FourFourTwo

Hartson never found out exactly who struck the match. “That was just the Wimbledon way” he said when asked about the incident years later.

With his clothes little more than a pile of cinders, Hartson had to conduct his first press conference in his shorts.

“I never got the expenses back,” he later quipped.

You can follow Martin Cloake on Twitter at @MartinCloake and find more about his books and writing at www.martincloake.com

The Manchester United squad of 1964, including George Best (front row, third right), Denis Law (front, far right) and Bobby Charlton (front, far left)

When Manchester United visited West Brom on 15 January 1964, the three players who were to form the core of arguably the greatest United side ever found themselves on the pitch together for the very first time.

George Best, Denis Law and Bobby Charlton all lined up in the starting XI, and were instantly successful. Law got two goals, with Best and Charlton bagging the others as United won 4-1 at the Hawthorns.

All three would go on to win European Player of the Year titles, Law in 1964, Charlton in 1966 and Best in 1968. And, of course, their finest hour came in 1968 when United became the first English side to lift the European Cup.

United used a 4-2-4 formation in those days, with Law taking a central role up front and Best the wide right role in the front four. Charlton played as the more advanced of the middle two, tucked just in behind.

Forty years on from the European Cup triumph, a statue of the Holy Trinity – made by West Sussex-based sculptor Philip Jackson, was unveiled opposite the statue of the side’s manager Matt Busby outside Old Trafford, where it continues to stand proudly.

You can follow Martin Cloake on Twitter at @MartinCloake and find more about his books and writing at www.martincloake.com

By Chris Wright

You may be labouring under the illusion think that footballers shilling for all-and-sundry is a relatively modern phenomenon. Well, we’re here to tell you that it just ain’t so, muchacho.

Indeed players suckling from the corporate teat goes back as far as we care to remember – Stanley Matthews happily plugged several cigarette brands throughout the 1950’s – and here is another prime example of the medium.

Presenting, Ruud Gullitt’s less-than-convincing advert for the stunning new (stunning and new in 1989, anyway) Lancia Y10 GT…

That’s what winning a Ballon d’Or does for your commercial value. Shexy motoring.

Suggested further viewing…

Feel Irie With Ruud Gullit’s 1984 Reggae Classic ‘Not The Dancing Kind’ (Video)

Arsenal manager Herbert Chapman (centre) chats with a key member of his team, Alex James (right), on the pitch at Wembley before the FA Cup final, April 1932

Born in Kiveton Park near Rotherham in Yorkshire, Herbert Chapman had a fairly mediocre playing career before making his first major impression in English football as manager of Huddersfield Town in the early 1920s.

Indeed, Chapman took the Terriers to successive league titles in 1923/24 and 1924/25, but only after successfully overturning a lifetime FA ban that he was sentenced to at previous club Leeds (over dodgy dealings with ‘guest players’ being brought in as ringers during the First World War).

However, it is at Arsenal that he is most fondly remembered – and that’s despite him playing for beloved neighbours Tottenham over 40 times between 1905 and 1907.

Chapman was lured to Arsenal in 1925 when the club offered to double his salary, and he led the Gunners to their first major trophy, the FA Cup, in 1930 – ironically enough against Huddersfield in the ‘North vs South’ final.

In 1930/31, Chapman steered Arsenal to their first league title, a feat they repeated in 1932/33.

Chapman established the club as the leading English side of the 1930s – they won five league titles in that decade – though sadly he didn’t live to see the full extent of his success. He suddenly died of pneumonia on 6th January, 1934.

By that time, Chapman had already made his indelible mark, not just with those trophy wins but also as an innovator. He is credited with having introduced the W-M formation (a kind of 3-2-2-3 arrangement) to English football as well as numbering on football shirts, floodlighting and formal training plans.

No wonder they gave him a statue.

You can follow Martin Cloake on Twitter at @MartinCloake and find more about his books and writing at www.martincloake.com

The hideous ‘turf’ at the Baseball Ground can be seen here in all its splendour as Derby and Nott’m Forest do battle, 1979

The famous grass shortage of April 1977 bit especially hard at the Baseball Ground, with Derby County’s notoriously lumpy pitch playing host to unprecedented scenes as a direct result.

Derby were in the midst of thrashing Man City in the First Division when they managed to win themselves a penalty kick. What followed was what’s commonly referred to in the trade as “an absolute bloody palaver”.

Already 3-0 up at the time, it was Rams midfielder Gerry Daly who took responsibility for dispatching the spot-kick. The only hitch being that the spot itself had completely disappeared amid the churned furrows of mud that was passing for an 18-yard box.

After City goalkeeper Joe Corrigan received a yellow card for cheekily attempting to help pace out 12 yards, on trundled the saviour of the hour – Derby groundsman Bob Smith, armed with a tape measure and a bucket of white paint…

As can be seen in the video above, Daly buried the penalty – the fourth and final goal in a 4-0 rout for Derby.

We’ll never turn our noses up at artificial turf again.

A crowd of 36,543 saw Newcastle United beat Bolton Wanderers 2-1 to go 12 points clear at the top of the Premier League on this day in 1996.

The Newcastle goalscorers on the night were Paul Kitson and Peter Beardsley, with Gudni Bergsson netting Bolton’s consolation.

Under Kevin Keegan, Newcastle seemed to be swashbuckling their way to the title. Bookmakers even paid out early on the Toon winning a first major trophy in 70 years. However, that seemingly unassailable 12-point lead has come to be remembered for very different reasons.

Newcastle started dropping points here and there almost instantly. Second-placed Manchester United, meanwhile, looked ominous – racking up the points and reeling the leaders in game by game.

In March, the Reds went to Newcastle and won 1-0 thanks to a goal from Eric Cantona. Newcastle’s lead at the summit was slashed to just one point.

Alex Ferguson then turned the screw by suggesting some teams might not try as hard against Newcastle as they did against his side. Keegan was incensed, famously losing his temper with a trademark heart-in-mouth rant live on TV after a victory against Leeds. You can see the clip below.

Ferguson’s wicked wile worked. His side won the league by four points, and Newcastle haven’t come close since.

You can follow Martin Cloake on Twitter at @MartinCloake and find more about his books and writing at www.martincloake.com

It’s fair to say that, for all his vast success as a player, Peter Shilton’s short-lived foray into management was an absolute disaster of Exxon Valdez-esque proportions.

The veteran 42-year-old goalkeeper arrived at Plymouth in a player-manager capacity in February of 1992. Two months later the club were relegated from the Second Division. As the team leaked goals, Shilton’s signings failed to mesh and his relationships with the chairman soured to the point of a public slanging match between the two men.

Argyle did make it into the Third Division play-offs the following season but lost in the semi-finals to Burnley. The next February, with the club looking odds-on for relegation and with matchday gates at a nine-year low, Shilton resigned and announced his intentions to start playing again – eventually ending up at Wimbledon as back-up for Hans Segers. He never returned to management, thankfully.

Just to illustrate how clueless Shilton was as a gaffer, here’s a little snippet of what must surely rank as the worst motivational team talk ever delivered by anyone in any field…

Photo: @depboyle/Twitter

Inspirational.

On this very day in 1920, Alfred Earnest Ramsey was born in Dagenham, then a rural village 10 miles east of Central London.

Ramsey later reminisced that he “lived for the open air from the moment I could toddle”, and so it’s perhaps fitting that it was out in the open air that he not only made his name and living, but also left a peerless and indelible impression on the English sporting landscape.

While not blessed with abundant physical prowess, Ramsey used his exemplary footballing nous to carve out a career playing as a right-back with Southampton and Tottenham between 1943 and 1955, winning 32 England caps along the way – his final international appearance coming in the famously humbling 6-3 defeat against Hungary at Wembley, commonly referred to as ‘The Match of the Century’.

In 1955, with Spurs begging him to stay on as coach, Ramsey left to take over as manager of Ipswich Town, then wallowing in obscurity down in the old Third Division South. He transformed the club’s fortunes with immediate effect, securing a string of promotions before finally leading them to the First Division league title in 1962 – their debut season in the top flight.

That success landed him the England job, and he took over predicting England would win the World Cup in 1966. He revamped the selection system, sidelining the FA committee that had previously picked the team and putting himself, the manager, firmly in control.

England, of course, did win the World Cup in 1966, thanks to Ramsey’s “wingless wonders”. But, when the national side failed to qualify for the 1974 tournament, Ramsey – a knight of the realm by that point – was sacked. A decision he never fully forgave the FA for taking.

Ramsey briefly returned to club management with Birmingham City in 1977/78 before leaving the game the following season citing ill health. After retiring to live out his latter years with his wife in Ipswich, he died of a heart attack in 1999.

Suggested further viewing…

England Prepare For The 1966 World Cup With A Spot Of Cricket (Photos)

You can follow Martin Cloake on Twitter at @MartinCloake and find more about his books and writing at www.martincloake.com

In one of the most explosive and defining incidents of the Premier League era, it was 21 years ago today (doesn’t that make you feel old all of a sudden?) that Manchester United forward Eric Cantona launched himself over the advertising hoardings at a Palace fan who had heckling him from the terraces.

Cantona had just been sent off for a petulant kick on Palace’s Richard Shaw and, as he approached the tunnel, suddenly went for Palace fan Matthew Simmons with a two-footed kung fu kick like a big bloody maniac.

Here’s the magical Jonathan Pearce radio commentary just one more time…

United suspended their man for the rest of the season and fined him two weeks wages. Cantona was hauled up in court on a charge of common assault and sentenced to two weeks in prison, later reduced to 120 hours community service. The FA imposed a worldwide playing ban and fined him £10,000.

Without the influential Frenchman, United ended up losing the title by a single point to Blackburn Rovers.

At a press conference to announce the prison sentence had been reduced to community service, Cantona came out with his most famous quote: “When seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea.” Nope, me neither.

However, the finest quote of the whole affair came from Palace fan Simmons, who claimed in court that he’d simply shouted: “Off you go, Cantona, it’s an early shower for you.”

…yes, and don’t dilly-dally on the way, pip pip.

You can follow Martin Cloake on Twitter at @MartinCloake and find more about his books and writing at www.martincloake.com