By Chris Wright

Exactly 20 years ago yesterday, a 19-year-old Robbie Fowler set a English football record which still stands to this day - taking just four minutes and 33 seconds to score three goals for Liverpool against Arsenal, which is still the Premier League’s fastest ever hat-trick.

Beginning in the 26th minute and ending in the 31st, Fowler’s hat-trick proved enough to see off the Gunners, with Liverpool winning the game 3-0 and the young striker finding himself instantly elevated to a biblical standing among the Anfield faithful…

An ever-present in all of his side’s 57 competitive games team across the entire 1994/95 season, Fowler – or “God” as he was now commonly referred to as in and around the Merseyside area – went on to win that year’s League Cup with Liverpool before being bestowed with the PFA Young Player of the Year award having scored an impressive 31 goals in all competitions along the way.

He’s now mostly into putting on property academies, whatever they may be.

As for hat-tricks records; Fowler’s, impressive as it may be, isn’t the quickest in English football’s entirety - not by a long chalk.

Taking the plaudits is Bournemouth striker James Hayter, who racked up  a triple in a two-minute, 20-second blitz against Wrexham in 2004.

Like shit off a shovel!

                          

By Chris Wright

Taken from a BBC Sport article dating from 2004, Jose Mourinho had some choice words for the Arsenal back-four after being disgusted and appalled having sat through the Gunners’ rollicking 5-4 victory over Tottenham in the north London derby in November of that year…

Just to recap, Chelsea beat Everton by six goals to three at Goodison yesterday.

Just sayin’…

To be fair, Mou hasn’t altered his stance on high-scoring games one iota over the last decade – telling the Chelsea website after yesterday’s win:

“It’s difficult to believe on Wednesday afternoon we trained for one-and-a-half hours and we did only two things: defensive corners and defensive lateral free-kicks.

“<sarcasm>Imagine how happy I am with the result of our work!</sarcasm>

“It would have been better to give them Wednesday off and stay at home with my wife and kids!”

Bloody hell. Lighten up a bit, man!

(Via Gunners Reddit)

                          

By Chris Wright

These clips seem to do the rounds all the time but, without checking, they’ve not been whacked up on Pies before so, with Danny Welbeck leaving Manchester United to become Arsenal’s new No.23 after spending pretty much his entire career at Old Trafford, we figured this is as good a time as any to post them.

What you’re about to see here is a young Welbeck, then a spindly 12/13-year-old kid in United’s youth academy, receiving some focused coaching from first-teamers Ruud van Nistelrooy and Roy Keane (and Rene Meulensteen) circa roughly 2003/04-ish…

Here’s a cracking couple of shots of l’il Welbeck quite literally looking up to Ryan Giggs, his United idol, too…

Something tells us he’ll be back at Old Trafford before his playing days are over.

                          

By Chris Wright

20 years ago to this very day (September 4th, 1994), a 17-year-old Francesco Totti scored the very first of his 235 Serie A goals for Roma by latching onto a knock-down from Daniel “The Beaver” Fonseca and walloping a shot into the bottom corner to open the scoring for the Giallorossi in a 1-1 draw against Foggia at the Stadio Olimpico…

Here be that very goal…

The rest, as they say, is storia.

(Photo via Calcio)

                          

By Chris Wright

With Wembley stadium – or at least the new incarnation of it – taking an awful lot of flak over the course of the week after a record low crowd turned out for England’s dull-as-ditchwater friendly against Norway, we thought it’d be nice to remind ourselves of the damned thing’s origins.

Purely coincidentally, Getty Images have sent us a few complimentary hi-res photos of Wembley from their cavernous archives to be getting on with, documenting the early nascent years of English football’s spiritual home.

Here’s a wonderfully atmospheric shot of work beginning on the one of the original stadium’s two famous towers, January 1st 1923 (full-size image)…

The finished article, filled with around 300,000 fans during the infamously hectic “White Horse” FA Cup Final, April 28th 1923 (full-size image)…

Pies have more on the chaos and confusion which accompanied that match here.

Here’s another great photo of further construction getting underway to improve Wembley in February of 1924, with steps being constructed on the concourse outside and stairways being built within the famous twin towers to enable latecomers to take their seats without interrupting earlier arrivals (full-size image)…

Cracking stuff!

As it happens, these wonderful photos are to be included in a new exhibition being put on Wembley in association with Getty Images, which charts the extraordinary history of events and memories to have taken place at the national stadium – from the 1948 Olympics, to the 1966 World Cup right through to Live Aid in 1985.

Sir Geoff is bloody loving it…

If you’re interested, the Century of Wembley Memories Exhibition is open now and is free as part of the Wembley Stadium Tour.

For more information on Wembley Tours, step this-a-way please.

                          

By Chris Wright

As per bloody usual, Pies are a day late on the uptake here but on this very (yester)day in 1888, the first ever Football League season came to a conclusion.

The final, hand-drawn Football League table looked a little something like this, with Preston North End ending the 132-game campaign top of the pile, Aston Villa and Wolves making up the top three respectively and Stoke bringing up the rear…

Preston won the inaugural Football League without losing a single game and also went on to complete the first ever domestic double by beating Wolves 3-0 in the FA Cup Final.

(Image via @football_league)

                          

By Chris Wright

With Gareth Bale griping that Andorra’s dodgy rubber crumb was “by far the worst pitch” he’s ever played on after Wales 1-2 Euro 2016 qualifying victory, we thought we’d one-up the mollycoddled Welsh whinger and bring you a clutch of photos of some truly appalling pitches from down through the years.

As anyone who’s spent any amount of time playing Sunday League football will be able to tell you, you can do an awful lot worse than Andorra’s plastic paradise…

James Lewis of Walthamstow Avenue FC surveys the pitch, or lack thereof, ahead of kick-off, 1937

Huddersfield Town’s Alf Whittingham (left) cuts past Jock Campbell on Charlton Athletic’s infamously turf-less mudbath at The Valley, 1947

QPR’s Arthur Longbottom (No.8) goes sprawling headlong into the mud at Loftus Road after being stopped in his tracks by Exeter City ‘keeper George Hunter, 1957

What a day to wear white: The Stamford Bridge pitch churns up a treat as Chelsea’s Peter Brabrook swipes mud at Bolton Wanderers’ Ralph Gubbins, 1957

Gillingham officials give the “pitch” at Priestfield the once-over before deciding to call off their FA Cup third-round tie against Port Vale for the tenth consecutive time, 1963

The sodden pitch at Arsenal’s Highbury stadium, circa 1966

Derby County’s Baseball Ground boasted was one of the worst pitches in the history of football

Sadly, this 1975 photo of Archie Gemmill doing his best to dribble on it doesn’t really do justice the full horror

The aptly-named Plough Lane, former home of Wimbledon, seen here in all it’s glory circa 1975

Despite the abysmal state of the pitch, the 1987 Intercontinental Cup Final between Porto and Penarol at Tokyo’s sleet-filled National Stadium went ahead

Tromso fans do their best to clear snow off the pitch ahead of Chelsea’s visit to the Alfheim Stadium, 1997

Never fear, the game went ahead with Tromso winning 3-2 in Norway only to get spanked 7-1 at Stamford Bridge in the return leg

Safe to say your pitch is probably a bit on the damp side if your club mascot (Shrewsbury Town’s Lenny the Lion, in this case) can paddle across it, 2000

Played on worse: Birds perch along the crossbar of a flooded football pitch in Cairo, Egypt, 2006

Again, played on worse: A suitably filthy player emerges from the depths during a “Swamp Soccer” game on marshland in Dunoon, near Glasgow, 2007

An incredibly dirty tackle (in the literal sense) flies in during the final of the Mud Soccer World Cup played on the mud flats of the Elbe River at Brunsbuettel, northern Germany, 2010

Indian boys play football in the water-logged mud in Calcutta, 2010

How about this little beauty, as spotted by the folks over at Nonleague.co.uk?

Seriously Gareth, get a grip mate.

(Photos: PA)

                          

By Chris Wright

What with Sao Paulo ‘keeper Rogerio Ceni managing the utterly outrageous feat of scoring his 120th career goal on Sunday, Pies’ thoughts inescapably turned to another stalwart of the South American free-kick specialist goalkeeper scene: one Jose Luis Chilavert.

With 59 club goals and eight international goals to his name, ex-Paraguay and Velez Sarsfield stopper Chilavert held the world record for being the highest goal-scoring ‘keeper for many years – right up until Ceni surpassed him and subsequently ran away with it.

There are a few to pick from but perhaps Chilavert’s finest, or at least his most spectacular effort came in a Clausura game against River Plate in 1996.

With a Velez teammate still down after being fouled some 12 yards inside his own half, “El Buldog” Chilavert came bounding out of his goal and spontaneously thumped a Herculean effort over his opposite number, Mono Burgos (now Diego Simeone’s assistant at Atletico Madrid)…

Speaking to the press after the game, Chilavert said:

“Some players have scored from long distance, but it was usually by luck or chance.

“This was different. I saw that Burgos was outside the box, watching birds rather than concentrating on the game.

“So I started running frantically. As I arrived, I noticed the referee was in the way and shouted ‘Move!’ – luckily, he did!

“We won the game and I gave my shirt to the referee. He deserved for his reflexes!”

Cracking.

                          

By Chris Wright

To commemorate the 14th anniversary of Lionel Messi washing up on the shores of Barcelona wrapped up in swaddling in a little wicker basket bathed in a golden halo of light, Barcelona have posted a scan of the forward’s first ever provisional registration card for the club – including the then-13-year-old’s passport photo…

#OnThisDay Leo #Messi arrived at FC Barcelona 14 years ago. He was 13 years old http://t.co/mxjUXbtot3 pic.twitter.com/g7CGIqRCc4

— FC Barcelona (@FCBarcelona) September 17, 2014

He hasn’t changed – or grown, for that matter – one bit.

                          

By Chris Wright

With the big independence referendum imminent, Pies thought we’d take a timely look back at the vast schism that already exists between England and Scotland in football terms – beginning with the first ever fixture between the two countries in 1870 and ending with Gazza’s audacious, mercurial tomfoolery at Euro ’96…

A version of this post originally appeared on Pies in August 2013

An artist’s impression (dated 1878) of the first ever international game ever played between England and a Scotland representative team played under floodlights at the Kennington Oval in 1870, as organised solely by the English FA.

However, it is the return leg at the Hamilton Crescent in 1872 (which finished 0-0) that is officially recognised as the first ever international fixture as the two sides were independently picked by the two corresponding Football Associations of England and Scotland

An artist’s impression of a goalmouth scramble during the international “friendly” between England and Scotland, 1878

The England team, circa 1893. On the far left of the back row is stood William McGregor, the founder of the Football League

The Scotland team, sporting a fine array of gentlemanly facial fashion, circa 1895

The wooden terracing at Ibrox after it collapsed during a Scotland-England game, killing 25 people and injuring around 500 more, 1902 (if you sang that last bit à la The Proclaimers then you’re officially as bad as us)

A linesman in very fancy pantaloons marshals the game as England play Scotland at Bramall Lane, Sheffield in 1903

Scotland goalkeeper Jack Lyall prepares to hoof the ball downfield during a match against England at Crystal Palace, 1905

Up at the other end of the pitch, life for England goalkeeper Harry Linacre is an awful lot less stressful, 1905

Huge crowds swarm into Stamford Bridge for the England-Scotland Home International match which the home side eventually won 1-0, with Harry Hampton the scorer, 1913

England captain David Jack shakes hands with his Scottish counterpart, Davie Meiklejohn, over the centre-spot at Wembley as Irish referee Williams McLean oversees, 1930. Who the bloke in the middle is we have no idea!

The Duke of Gloucester is introduced to the England team by captain Ernie Blenkinsop before the game against Scotland at Wembley, 1932. England won the match 3-0

Far below the camera blimp, England play Scotland at Wembley, 1932

Spectators arrive outside Wembley for the Wartime Friendly between England and Scotland, 1941

Servicemen enjoy a front-row view at Wembley during the Wartime Friendly between England and Scotland specially organised by the FA, 1941

Scotland captain Matt Busby shakes hands with grizzled England captain Stan Cullis before the Wartime Friendly between the two countries at Wembley, 1944

England goalkeeper Frank Swift rises to claim the ball confidently in front of the twin towers, 1944

England’s Neil Franklin muscles in to dispossess Jimmy Delaney after the Scotland forward had beaten England goalkeeper Frank Swift (on ground) to a through ball, 1947

Two dustbin lids are used to ramp up the atmosphere at Wembley, 1947

England’s Stanley Matthews jinks past Scotland defender George Young at Hampden Park, 1948

The British Home Championship trophy (also known as the Home International trophy) which was competed for annually by the UK’s four national sides for 100 years from 1883/84 up until 1983/84, as photographed here in 1949

England and Manchester City goalkeeper Frank Swift trains in the mud ahead of the Home International match at Wembley against Scotland, 1949

Scotland centre-back George Young checks the solidity of the Wembley goalposts before a Home International match against England, 1949

The two captains, England’s George Hardwick (left) and Scotland’s Jock Shaw (right), watch the referee’s coin toss intently, 1949

Scotland supporters clamber aboard a London bus and celebrate their team’s 3-1 victory over England, 1949

The two sides march out onto the Wembley Pitch ahead of the 1951 Home International game between England and Scotland

England’s inside-right Wilf Mannion is stretchered off the Wembley turf after suffering a fractured cheek bone during the game against Scotland, 1951

The very definition of a “despairing dive”, Scotland goalkeeper Tom Cowan is beaten at his near post as England socre their first goal at Wembley, 1951

England players including Nat Lofthouse, Stanley Matthews, Billy Wright and Don Revie train at Roehampton ahead of a Home International game against Scotland, 1955

Crowds spill out of the stadium and filter away down Wembley Way following England’s 7-2 friendly victory over Scotland, 1955

Shouldn’t you be at school? A crowd of young boys gather to watch England train at Stamford Bridge before the following day’s Home International fixture against Scotland, 1959

England captain Billy Wright is chaired off by his teammates after his 100th international appearance, a 1-0 victory over Scotland at Wembley, 1959

Bodies are sprawled across the pitch after England’s Bobby Smith and Scotland’s Eric Caldow are involved in a nasty collision, 1963

England’s Bryan Douglas and Jimmy Greaves treat injured teammate Bobby Smith with the magic sponge as Scotland’s Eric Caldow in tended to in the background, 1963

Two jubilant Scotland fans are accosted by a police inspector as they attempt to unfurl the Scottish standard on the Wembley pitch following Scotland’s 2-1 win, 1963

 Billy McNeill and Bobby Moore lead their boys out at Wembley, 1965

Jimmy Greaves and the Charlton brothers line up before England’s game against Scotland at Wembley, 1965. The match finished 2-2; Greaves and Bobby Charlton scoring for England, Denis Law and Ian St John scoring for Scotland

England’s Ray Wilson is stretchered away down the tunnel after picking up an injury against Scotland, 1965

Scotland goalkeeper Bill Brown punches clear as England swing a corner into his area, 1965

Manchester United teammates Denis Law and Bobby Charlton swap shirts after the final whistle, 1965

Jim Baxter is hugged by delighted fans following Scotland’s 3-2 victory over England in the European Championship qualifier at Wembley, 1967

Scotland fans flood onto the Wembley pitch to celebrate the victory, 1967

The Scotland team to play England, all looking a bit chilly, 1968

Joan Tench of England Ladies is sneakily kegged by Jean Ramsey of Scotland during an aerial duel in a women’s international friendly game in London, 1969

In a game scheduled to mark the Scottish FA’s centenary year, Bobby Moore leads his team out before making his 100th international appearance for England against Billy Bremner’s Scotland at Hampden Park, 1973

Big Joe Jordan celebrates after knocking one in against England, scoring the opener in a 2-0 Home International win at Hampden Park, 1974

England manager Don Revie talks tactics with members of his squad at Troon as they prepare for a Home International match with Scotland. With him are, from left, Mick Channon, Stuart Pearson (no. 10), Ray Kennedy (no. 6), Peter Taylor, Gerry Francis and Kevin Keegan, 1976

Rampant Scotland fans demolish the Wembley goalposts after watching their team beat England 2-1 at Wembley in a Home International, 1977

Keggy celebrates scoring against Scotland at Wembley, 1979

Scotland fans make their point with a banner referring to FA secretary Ted Croker, who banned the sale of tickets to Scottish fans ahead of 1981′s Home International fixture after their demolition job at Wembley four years prior.

The ticket ban was overturned in court and, hence…

A small group of determined Scotland fans watch the Home International match against England through a gap in the corner of Hampden Park, 1985

Rival fans brawl at Wembley where England beat Scotland 1-0 in a Rous Cup match, 1988

Paul Gascoigne leaves a bamboozled Colin Hendry in his wake as he thunders in his fantastic goal against Scotland at Euro ’96…

…and celebrates accordingly!

England-Scotland at Euro ’96 as seen from the skies above Wembley

No caption required

(Photos: PA)

                          

By Chris Wright

Porto manager Sir Bobby Robson gives a press conference alongside his glamorous assistant, 1995

Shortly before jacking it all in to embark on his much, much more successful coaching career, Jose Mourinho harboured dreams of following in his father Felix’s footsteps by becoming a professional footballer himself.

While Felix enjoyed a long and relatively successful career keeping goal for Vitoria Setubal and Belenenses (winning one Portugal cap for his troubles after coming on as a late substitute in a 2-1 win over the Republic of Ireland in 1972), Jose struggled to make any headway at youth level and instead turned his hand to management.

However, we have stumbled across a bit of fairly rare footage of Mourinho the younger during his early playing days, with the Chelsea manager appearing briefly towards the end of this news report which ran on RTP in Portugal back in 1981.

What we see is Mourinho, aged about 18 or 19, being presented along with a few of his new teammates as the latest additions to Rio Ave’s squad – the very team Felix Mourinho was managing at the time, with Mourinho Snr providing the voice-over work to boot…

That cocky-arsed smile! It could only be Jose!

(Via @SavileRogue)

                          

By Chris Wright

As scanned from Republic of Ireland match programmes from 1998ish by Brand New Retro, here’s Mick McCarthy and Shay Given giving their best “Imperial Leisure” while modelling a variety of chunky knits for Penneys like proud – and extremely stylish – father and son…

Never a truer word spoken.

We’ll just leave this here…

(Via @SecondCaptains)

                          

By Chris Wright

Lace-up shirt collars, eh? By ‘eck, them were the days

Exactly 22 years ago to this very day on October 3rd 1992, Aston Villa striker Dalian Atkinson scored the goal that would come to define his career in the inaugural year of the Premier League – no bad thing, as it happens.

Having wrestled control of the ball deep inside his own half, Atkinson embarked on a twisting, squid-like dribble that took him past four stout tackles before sending a delicate chip over outstretched Dons ‘keeper Hans Segers.

It was Maradona-esque and, we think we’re right in saying, almost definitely the best goal ever scored by a bloke from Telford…

Not only did Atkinson’s super slalom goal make the Match of the Day 1992/93 Goal of the Season shortlist – it bloody well won it too…

Brilliant in the truest sense of the word – it’s only a shame Atkinson didn’t do that kind of thing more often.

Fondly remembered by Villa fans as an integral component of the “Heroes of 94″ Coca Cola Cup-winning side, Atkinsons’ post-Villa career proving to be a bit of a damp squib – with the striker slowly petering out after leaving Villa Park for Fenerbahce in 1995.

Oh well, Dalian. We’ll always have Selhurst Park.

(Via @We_ReAstonVilla)

                          

By Chris Wright

Granted, you don’t have to look very hard to find an achingly elegant goal in Marco van Basten’s groaning back catalogue, but his acrobatic effort in Ajax’s 3-1 victory over Den Bosch in 1986 definitely takes some beating.

Almost crystalline in its execution, Van Basten tracks Jan Wouter’s chipped cross to the far post and then proceeds to send it back from whence it came with an instinctive overhead finish - picking out the uppermost top corner of Jan van Gestel’s goal frame with ease.

And, of course, what better way to relive one of The Swan of Utrecht’s most exquisite finishes than to have it overdubbed with some slightly crass American commentary?

Go celebrate….wid yo’ people.

Definitely up there with his famous acute-angle volley against the USSR in the Euro ’88 final in our book - if only in terms of technique rather than the overall grandeur…

What a player.

(Image: Ajax)

                          

By Chris Wright

“In fairness, it was just a bit big for me, Clive”

Andy Townsend. Andy sodding Townsend. He couldn’t have just gone down with his tactics truck like a good captain. Oh no, he had to keep talking until he made us all despise him.

Oh well. The next time you here ITV’s resident football shaman criticise a player for an iffy first touch on co-commentary, you just make sure you bear this little beauty in mind…

One man in his entirety, summed up in the space of six seconds.

(Vine: David Hartrick)

Suggested further reading…

Top 10 Memorable Andy Townsend Co-Commentary Quotes
10 Perfectly Likeable Former Players Who Ruined It All With Their Punditry

                          

By Chris Wright

A devout fan since his childhood and now aged 91, Molineux legend Sir Jack Hayward has devoted almost all of his life (and £50million of his personal fortune) to his beloved Wolverhampton Wanderers, so it’s difficult to imagine the man who served as chairman and owner of his boyhood team for almost two decades between 1990 and 2007 ever having a cross word to say about his cherished team.

However, the Guardian obviously thought they’d caught the Wolves chairman on an off day following the club’s promotion to the Premier League at the end of the 2002/2003 season, when they reported that Sir Jack had admonished his team as “the worst team in the First Division” shortly after their 3-0 victory over Sheffield United in the play-off final at the Millennium Stadium.

Unfortunately, judging by the subsequent “correction and clarification” that emerged after the sensational article was originally published on 11th August, it would appear that the Guardian missed out a single, but absolutely crucial letter while transcribing their tapes…

Cracking. It’s those fine details that make all the difference!

Anyway, Wolves went on to finish rock bottom of the table and were therefore relegated back to the Championship after just one year in the top flight – so maybe Hayward wasn’t too far off the first time round.

The amended version of the Guardian’s interview with Sir Jack is still available to peruse here.

(Via @eleanorokane/The Poke)

                          

By Chris Wright

He may be the hero of the hour after his 94th-minute equaliser against Germany, but it’s perhaps worth remembering that John O’Shea wasn’t always the world-renowned ace goal poacher he is today.

Far from it, indeed – as this timelessly shite attempted “shot” against West Ham will duly attest.

With Manchester United already trailing 1-0 to the Hammers on a bitter, wintry Carling Cup night at the Boleyn, the footballing gods guided a loose ball to the feet of O’Shea, who duly took up his brush and thence painted his masterpiece…

United went on to lose 4-0 as West Ham’s Jonathan Spector and Carlton Cole ran riot with two goals apiece.

Yep, that’s how bad it was.

                          

By Chris Wright

Scotland left-back Tommy Gemmell, seen here in 1969

Picture the scene: It’s 22nd October, 1969 and things are getting a bit frantic as the World Cup qualifier between Scotland and West Germany enters its final throes.

Scotland found themselves 3-2 down against a dominant West Germany in Hamburg and facing the very real prospect of not qualifying for the 1970 World Cup in Mexico.

It was at that point that Celtic full-back, Lisbon Lion and general tough nut Tommy Gemmell went surging towards the German box with the ball at his feet.

With Gemmell known to have a bit of a cannon of a shot on him, Germany forward Helmut Haller (the bloke who nicked Geoff Hurst’s 1966 World Cup Final hat-trick match-ball) committed a deliberate professional foul in order to clip the advancing Scottish defender and stop him in his tracks.

Angry, Scottish and pumped full of nervous adrenaline, Gemmell wasn’t about to let Haller get away with his dastardly deed and duly set about planting his right boot right up the German’s jacksie…

Ooof. A right old swing if ever we saw one. They don’t make ‘em like Tommy Gemmell any more!

For the record, Gemmell was shown a straight red card (presumably for attempted battery) with his Celtic manager, Jock Stein, watching in the crowd. The relationship between the two swiftly began to deteriorate from there on, with Gemmell moving on south to Nottingham Forest in 1971.

Scotland went on to lose 3-2 on the night before suffering defeat in their final qualifying game against Austria too, meaning West Germany qualified for the 1970 World Cup in front of them.

                          

By Chris Wright

DA’RON HUCKERBY: PREMIER LEAGUE LEGEND

With Bradley Wright-Phillips becoming the all-time record MLS single-season goalscorer at the weekend, Pies’ train of thought inescapably began meandering toward Darren Huckerby – as it so often does.

Allow us to elucidate: Huckerby was one of the first Premier League-era pioneers to make the lucrative end-of-career jump to MLS in lieu of dropping down the leagues and, having left Norwich at the end of the previous season, his arrival at the San Jose Earthquakes in 2008 was greeted with almost stereotypically awful faux-enthusiasm from the local news station, KRON 4.

Charged with hyping up some schmuck he’d never heard of who played a sport he likely couldn’t care less about, the KRON 4 anchor did his best to interview Hucks – establishing the following facts over the course of their awkward, stilted chat…

1) Huckerby was arriving from the Northfolk team in north-east England
2) He’s a legend
3) He’s responsible for the Greatest Goal Ever
4) “Manchester” play in an almost Birmingham City-esque blue strip
5) HE’S A LEGEND
6) His wife is a bit too old to be a pop star

Classic.

Huckerby’s sole season in the MLS was relatively successful, with the former Coventry, Man City and Norwich (and Forest!) striker scoring a respectable 9 goals in 28 appearances for the Earthquakes and bagging himself the  2008 MLS Newcomer of the Year Award before retiring the following September after undergoing an operation on his dicky hip.

                          

By Chris Wright

Francis Lee: One of football’s original style icons

It’s perhaps unsurprising that with both City and United going into the game as equals and fielding two of the best teams in each club’s respective history, the 1971 Manchester derby at Maine Road proved to be a classic.

Over 63,000 fans crammed into the stadium to watch a City side featuring the likes of Colin Bell, Mike Summerbee, Joe Corrigan and Francis Lee slug out a gruelling 3-3 draw against a United team boasting George Best, Bobby Charlton, Denis Law et al.

During the corresponding fixture at Old Trafford the previous season, a reckless challenge from a frustrated George Best – United were losing 1-4 at home – left City full-back Glyn Pardoe with a broken leg (seen at 0:24 in this highlights reel).

With the first derby of the 1971/72 campaign coming so early in the season (6th November, to be exact) there was an extra frisson of blood and thunder in the air, with a few choice tackles flying in – especially on Best.

However, Francis Lee was not impressed with the way Best handled the physical treatment – demonstrating just what he thought of the United forward’s theatrics after knocking him to the ground with an “agricultural” shove of his very own…

The GIF version…

Tell us what you really think, Franny!

As for the game itself, City came back from 0-2 and 2-3 down to steal a point – though it was the men from Maine Road who finished the season with the bragging rights after finishing four points ahead of United in the Division One standings.